Usually Chris would leave Maslow in his cage in Chris' room during the day. But Chris thought that Maslow may enjoy being in the open house during the day, so one day he had left him out. Well, when he got back, Chris found that we no longer had a Yellow Pages book. Maslow had torn it to shreads! I think a pillow may have been "damaged" in the events of the day as well. It was agreed that the house couldn't really get any worse that what it was already, so Maslow was allowed to roam the house while we were at work. I mean, what else could he destroy?

Up to this point, Maslow ate Yellow Pages, pillows, slippers (mine!), and grease (he stunk!!!). But that would not surpass what was about to happen!

My version: Hans took his shower in the morning. During that time, he'd just close the door to his room. Maslow was already up and about. Somehow he had managed to pry his way into the room (the lock was not secure at all - typical 44-1/2 Ladouceur Avenue!) and poke around. When Hans got back, he discovered that Maslow liked leather. Hans' wallet had disintegrated. There were pieces everywhere! Maslow must have taken a shining to plastic as Hans never did find his drivers' licence. I don't recall what else was destroyed in the fiasco, but it did create a living hell for Hans to try to put his life back together. You women would know the same feeling if your purse was destroyed. Just think - you'd have to shop for all that makeup you lost if Maslow did the damage.

Andrew's version: He seems to recall the incident happening later on at night, perhaps while he and Hans were watching their comedy hour (Beverly Hills 90210) in the living room. Disregarding the time instance, the events still are the same for both accounts.

Of course in retrospect, it is funny. Unfortunately it did happen and when it did, it wasn't as hilarious.

Addendum: Andrew asked me to add in a tidbit. Before the delicious wallet episode, Maslow had decided that he wanted to munch some plastic, just to be curious. Well, seems like he loved it since Andrew's $30 phone now has, as he put it, handi-grip dog-chew marks on it. The phone is still functional and was salvaged, but gnawed nonetheless.

W

here, Oh, Where?

I don't feel like typing the entire story for this one, but a car was stolen right in front of our house. The people where at Bingo during the day (a WEEKDAY - Bingo and weekday afternoon? Get a life people!) and parked in front of our place. The car just wasn't there when they got back. And worse, they were French. Me trying to speak French was like men having babies... it just doesn't happen! (Well, except Arnold Swartzenegger... duh, the movie Junior.)

Stupid story, I know, but this was the kind of neighbourhood we lived in. Definitely not a place Mr. Rodgers would want to visit.

C

hicken with that Veggie Burger?

Alex was a vegetarian. That's nothing out of the ordinary, right? Well... knowing my style of writing, you should have figured out by now that there is a catch. (Not that the title gave it away!)

As mentioned, Alex was a vegetarian. I think everyone in the house had respected that, although it's not usual for a male student to be vegetarian. I forget the exact reason why I had entered Alex's room, but what I had seen would shock me. I saw a KFC box in his garbage can. My friend Joe Quesnel would always tell me that I had a knack of pointing out the most irrelevant details of a situation. I guess I had surpassed myself. I asked myself... what would a VEGETARIAN be doing with an empty Kentuck Fried CHICKEN box? They may have recently changed their fries, but would that make Alex buy the family sized box? Heck, I can't even eat that much!

I relayed my findings to the guys. They were in the same dumbfounded state as I was when I discovered the box. I then took my findings to Alex when he got back or whatever. He then admitted he had converted back to good old carnivore-ism.

I still find that strange. One day you're a vegetarian, disgusted by the thought of eating meat, then one day deciding to be a biggot and eat the flesh of an animal. (Makes me hungry writing about it!)