I don't like Canadian cheese; it's not cheesey cheese.
He didn't like Canadian cheese compared to Romanian.

You look Asian. You should be able to speak it.
An Asian language was being spoken on television and this phrase-sayer assumed Hans could translate.

Life without TV is hell.
He said this when our cable was cut. (see Stories 1)

He sucks.
Tiger Woods had placed his ball 2 feet from the hole with an amazing shot. This person thought that anyone could make the shot.

She sucks.
A tennis match was on television and this person wanted to know the nationality of the female player. Upon knowing the nationality (which evidentally was not German), the phrase was spoken.

Beavis and Butthead rocks.
Previews for "Beavis and Butthead Do America" were on television, and he spoke his mind.

It's losing wind. That's why the engine's being drained.
The beater bar head of the vacuum had been clogged with junk, which lead this person to say the quote.

I don't like my dishes being washed in the shampoo.
Apparently this person doesn't like his dishes to be washed in dish liquid; it leaves an aftertaste in the food.

5 minutes in the freezer and it isn't cold enough. I wonder if we have ice cubes.
Obviously this person's soup was too hot.

Do your cornflakes taste better with 1% milk?
During breakfast, he posed this question since he's only been exposed to 2% milk.



So, if you guessed Alex for each of the quotes, you either know Alex very well (I'm sorry), you are one of my former housemates, you were told these quotes by us Ladouceurites, or you have ESP. In any case, seek help immediately.